Defector

Quick! Let’s Analyze Aaron Rodgers’s Tattoo Before He Tells Us What It Actually Means

Yesterday, Aaron Rodgers took to Instagram to announce he had gotten his first tattoo. I’m actually surprised this was his first ink. His man bun is proof that he doesn’t have many inhibitions about how he presents himself, and by now everyone knows that he has so many ideas that he really likes to tell people about. Considering all that, a tattoo seems long overdue.

I don’t know if I have ever seen a tattoo that is a more perfect illustration of what it must look like inside the subject’s mind. It seems like it would be difficult to squeeze more symbols, ideas, theories, vistas, or shapes onto a forearm’s worth of canvas. Just looking at it makes me feel a little bit insane, like I’m stringing yarn from picture to picture attempting to murder wall my way through these obscure images to form one cohesive idea. But I also feel like I understand the man a little bit more.

In his caption, Rodgers said, “There’s a deep and meaningful story and connection to absolutely each element of this art piece, and I’ll share a little more about that one day.”

Of course there is, and that sharing will likely be done in the form of a thirty-minute soliloquy on the Pat McAfee show next week. I do not want to wait for that, though, so let’s dissect this multi-layered image, and what the elements could possibly tell us about the Packers quarterback’s mindset heading into the 2022 NFL season.

Let’s start with the focal point of this tattoo, the eye in the sky.

This is most certainly a reference to the league office and the mainstream media watching his every move last season while he skirted the NFL’s COVID-19 protocol and intentionally misrepresented his vaccination status. Rodgers was also fined $14,550 for attending a Halloween party with other Packers players last season, which violated protocol. This eye is Big Brother.

This also might represent the forever connection between Rodgers and his ex-star receiver Davante Adams. Though Rodgers’s favorite target left him for Vegas, he will always have the memory of their eye contact in the huddle before they seared defenses.

The dueling lions

At first glance, this appears to be an animorph of Rodgers himself. On the left, we have Rodgers during the Mike McCarthy era in Green Bay, perpetually agitated by McCarthy’s stale playcalling and his own desire for more power in the organization. On the right, we see Rodgers in the post-McCarthy era, a calm predator, working mostly in harmony with Matt LaFleur.

This also could represent the two expected wins over the Lions every year, or how the Packers could not afford to keep the two leaders of the pride on the roster. One lion (Adams) sadly had to go.

The ocean

This portal view of the ocean represents the vastness of human experience in all its unknowability, or possibly also a time he and Davante Adams went to the beach.

The open book

I have no idea what this illustration at the bottom of the tattoo actually is supposed to be, but to me it looks like an open book, which must be representative of the fact that Rodgers loves to read lengthy tomes and has definitely read more books than you.

This also could be a recreation of the Packers’ playbook back when they had Adams on the roster and infinite ways to score.

The constellations

Is this an exact replica of the night sky when Rodgers first glimpsed a UFO? I don’t recognize any of these star formations, so on second thought, this must be a map, but to where? Understanding this is why I have started drinking seawater.

Or is it a diagram of the beginnings of a complicated play call that will finally allow the Packers to beat the San Francisco 49ers in the postseason? I am still working on this one.

The only symbols I actually recognized

Rodgers did hashtag #astrology, so we know he’s a real horoscope guy. At the top of the tattoo you’ll see the arrow with the slash through it, which is the symbol for Rodgers’s sun sign, Sagittarius, the archer. On the top left is the M with the tail, which is the Scorpio symbol, Rodgers’s moon sign. On the top right, the two horizontal squiggly lines are Aquarius, which must be his rising sign, but I was unable to fact check that since I don’t have his time of birth.

Cafe Astrology tells me that Scorpio moons are very intense people. “They are diggers when it comes to the world of emotion—they can see beyond facades and cut right to the core of a person. This ability to ‘see’ what isn’t obvious to the rest of the world can be intimidating to others or wildly attractive, depending on the audience.”

“Seeing” … the eye! It’s all coming together now.

Rodgers was born in December, and you know who else was born in December? Davante Adams. But Adams’s Dec. 24 birthday makes him a Capricorn. What could this mean?

The left arm

Rodgers chose his left arm as the platform for this beautiful mystery. Does this mean he is more than his elite throwing arm? Does this mean that he will never get over his grudge against the front office because Davante Adams left for greener pastures?

Packers left tackle David Bakhtiari left the comment of the day: “..I hope this is a henna tattoo.”

It certainly is not, and I look forward to learning about the real meaning behind this art: That Jordan Love will never play a meaningful snap in Green Bay.

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